Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Dark and Light
Monday, October 30, 2006
Absence
After just over a year of daily posts here on Bespeak, break was imposed on me. The weekend was focused on my pounding head, aching ribs, OTC medicine, and the tissue box.
Good news. Late on Sunday, Tata finally came home from the hospital. Details of his care at home are still being worked out. He is still lucid and was very upset about being in the hospital. I would be upset, too. On Saturday morning, He was found on the floor, blue. Supposedly, his bed was alarmed. It was later discovered the alarm was not functioning properly. That is a big oops.
Does this make sense? Should an 84 year old man be made to quit smoking at the end of his days? He smokes three cigarettes a day. Yes, he is now on oxygen, but with proper precautions he could have a few puffs now and then. We are looking toward palliative care, wouldn’t that include supervised cigarettes?
Friday, October 27, 2006
Misery Loves Company
Today was the day my youngest and I were to go to Providence to check out a University. The sun was shining in the bright blue sky. No trips to the hospital, no meals to cook, just a wonderful day to spend with my son.
I awakened with a stuffy head, body aches and slight fever soon eased in. My son had been home from school all week. His germs made their way to me. So much for my optimism. We cancelled the trip.
The day was spent working on bills and purging a half a grocery bag of papers. It is amazing how fast papers can pile up. I know it is a matter of habit that some people never have piles of paper, but I wonder how do they do that. What is their thought process? My thought processing is somewhat diminished today.
As night falls, I still feel miserable, but I have been productive.
I awakened with a stuffy head, body aches and slight fever soon eased in. My son had been home from school all week. His germs made their way to me. So much for my optimism. We cancelled the trip.
The day was spent working on bills and purging a half a grocery bag of papers. It is amazing how fast papers can pile up. I know it is a matter of habit that some people never have piles of paper, but I wonder how do they do that. What is their thought process? My thought processing is somewhat diminished today.
As night falls, I still feel miserable, but I have been productive.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Too much to do ...
... to little time. Update on Tata, it looks like he will be going home soon. The doctors said that they have done all that they can for him. He is old, his heart is failing. So pallative care is in the way to go and it will be at home as he wishes. Everything is being arranged, oxygen, durable medical equipment and nursing care. Prognosis at best is a year at most.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Pills
Apparently the pills are working, at least in regard to my blood pressure. It is back into a normal range. Not that I enjoy taking pills, but if they help and my quality of life is not affected, then take them. Hopefully, I can make lifestyle changes and will not have to take those pesky pills.
In the last month, my weight has also dropped by a couple of pounds. Thankfully, I enjoy the Water Walking, which is twice a week. Come January I will sign up again for Aqua Aerobics to get back up to working out four times a week. Apparently my attention to my diet has helped. No, I am not on a DIET. It has been a lifestyle change, which has resulted in a total loss of 30 pounds since April 2005.
Erasing 50 years of bad habits is challenging, but not impossible. Granted some of the effects of those habits cannot be eliminated, they will be with me for the rest of my life. But some changes can erase the ill effects and maybe get me off the pills.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Too Tired To...
• Focus
• Research
• See the beauty of the season
• Get bills done
• Go exercise
Telephone ringing and making sure that I ate on schedule kept me from getting solid sleep. I did manage to get a bit of work done, got about 3.5 hours and went to bed at normal time. Unfortunately, I woke up at 3:30 a.m. this morning, a bit perkier than yesterday.
I am hoping that I can get back to normal soon. How strange this sounds, coming from one who considers herself to be spontaneous. I guess I am more a creature of habit that I have led myself to believe.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Pulled an All-Nighter
It has been a long time since I stayed up all night. The last time that I clearly remember doing so was back when I was single. I had picked up a copy of Stephen King's lastest book and started reading at 6 p.m. The book engaged me so that I could not stop reading. When I finished the book, I looked at the clock and it was 6 a.m. Perhaps there were a few time that I did not sleep due to the children... but I am too tired to recall.
The only reason that I am still awake is to sent my children off to school. Then some sleep. When I awake, I will check on Tata. He finally agreed to go to the hospital. I beat the ambulance, and at 8:45 p.m. arrived at the hospital. After they stabilized him, we waited for the admitting doctor. Thankfully, the Emergency Room was peaceful and Tata slept for most of the night. (Wish I had gotten some sleep.) He was finally admitted at 4:15 a.m. After driving my brother home, it was only a matter of minutes that the boys would be arising. And now it is time to make the oatmeal.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Autumn
Autumn is one of my favorite seasons. Such a beautiful brilliant display of color, the changing colors and cool crisp air brings signs of the end. The bright red and yellow leaves against the vibrant blue sky are breathtaking.
Soon we will feel the effects of decreasing sunshine, falling leaves and naked trees. The coincidence strikes me, Tata is also declining. Affairs are getting in order, I hope that all gets done in time as it will makes it easier for my brother. The end cannot be stopped, it is coming.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
It feels like Christmas
Purchasing gifts and receiving packages in the mail made for the feeling of Christmas. Getting into the season so early? It feels strange, there are still leaves on the trees.
The cooler temperatures have also brought on a renewed spirit within me. No, we haven’t had any snow here yet, but there has been snow in some areas around the country.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Scary
I just realized that I have been posting about scary subjects:
- Friday the Thirteenth
- Politics
- Hype and Spin
- Near Death
I guess this is fitting because Halloween is coming. Here is one more scary thing I came across Sugar Poisoning.
The thought that sugar kills is frightening. Is it really a result of poisioning? I do know that one can overdose on sugar, just look at children after Halloween.
Yes, our diets have been ladened with sugary treats. But that has been greatly reduced in this household. I think that I could live without sugar, but not carbs. Is that my poison? Do we crave what is bad for us?Are we slowly poisoning ourselves? Heaven only knows, but before I dive into this wholeheartly more information is needed. Until, then moderation will have to do. Thank heavens my guys do not go out trick or treating anymore.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Making Final Plans
Not having your affairs in order is hard on your family. It can make if difficult to honor your wishes.
Breathing is labored, your body is exhausted. Being 84 and not wanting to seek medical care, if 911 is called, what would happen? Would they still take him if he refused to go? He does not want is life prolonged by artifical means and his end to come in a hospital.
Instead going to the doctor, he preferred to see an attorney. He is cutting it close for making plans.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
nutritional management lab
At an open house, I was presented with a spread of food where good choices were limited. I was impressed with the thoughts that went through my mind. First of all timing, it was not time to eat. I was there to evaluate a program.
I did look at what food choices I did have, there were not many and thankfully I was not hungry. Though it was sort of like letting a child loose in a candy store. Elements of temptation were there. Chips, appetizers and a bit of fresh veggies were laid out, but most of it was not appealing to me so I was not enticed by what would have been considered to be bad choices.
My lifestyle change is taking. My perspective has changed, I did not feel any angst nor feel deprived. What I did not realize is that there would be two evaluations going on, one on the program, the second on food. Toward the end of my program evaluation, I did take an appropriate sized snack. My point of view was that of what was best for my body.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Fact or Fiction?
Marketing and media are other areas that annoy me. The hype and spin have spiraled out of control. Brainwashing the public to believe that something is the latest and greatest (when it is not) or the latest study results are competently compiled. Tweaking the state of mind or beliefs of the average individual, sifting out what to believe or is best for us is getting more difficult everyday.
Influencing the public, that your message is true, is big business and big in business. The general public seems to have a lemming mentality. "I heard it on the news, read it in the paper, or saw it on TV. So it must be true." The government is also entangled is the type of promoting.
On the internet you have to sift through what is truth and what is fiction. There is a wealth of information. But what is the truth? Is the information reliable? Many hold their beliefs to be true, when it may not be. Can you blame people for promoting their beliefs, even when the beliefs may not be valid? No. But you do spend time trying to figure out if it is valid.
Those of us with some intelligence have learned to question what is presented. We have to be suspect because ethical behavior has seemingly gone out the window.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Greed and Politics
Instead of producing a good product that will be useful and benefit the consumer, corporations are solely concerned about the profit margin. Even to the point where they will prevent a good product from even coming to market. Corporate greed disgusts me. Two examples of this in action are with what is going on with Stevia and Who Killed The Electric Car?
Currently the politicians are worried about keeping the young here in Connecticut. They talk about incentives for business. The real problem is that the young cannot afford the housing. Recent rampant increases in property values make it difficult, if not impossible, to afford decent housing. At job interviews out-of-staters think twice, or maybe even more about moving into Connecticut. It is no wonder that most living in state need to depend on a dual salary income to survive (and I am not talking about minimum wage positions, teachers are having this problem).
It is doubtful that anything will change soon.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
A year ago today...
... I started Bespeak. My goal was to vent, share pictures that I have taken and just get some thoughts out.
Writing is a labor for me. The written word can have consequences or be ineffective. Crafting a letter can take hours. It is a painstaking process that is well worth the effort, if you achieve your objective.
Sharing pictures is a way that I show what I see. Fortunately most times the camera can capture that. There are times, I cannot get my camera to produce the desired results. My camera is always with me, tucked into my purse, waiting for the next photo op. Sometimes I am self-conscious about bringing out my camera. Usually I overcome that and may have to deal with others who are self-conscious or embarrassed by my doing so.
My thoughts drift from events, annoyances and personal experiences. Bespeak has been a diary of sorts. I sift though the clutter of thoughts within my brain. Like a sponge, I absorb what is around me.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
colors
The displays of color put on by Mother Nature never ceases to impress me.
The cool crisp days invigorate me. Gone are the sweltering days of summer. Silver frost is the morning attire and puddles turn to ice.
The cool crisp days invigorate me. Gone are the sweltering days of summer. Silver frost is the morning attire and puddles turn to ice.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Friday the 13th
It is just another day. Coming just before Halloween, conjures up spooky images; black cats, scary jack-o-lanterns. Luck, good or bad, is there really such a thing? Is luck just really how we act or react?
Abu, my black cat.
My brother commended me on not being in denial about having type 2 diabetes. How could I. Both my mother and grandmother had it. I knew the day was coming. I am not angry, it is just how my family’s genes developed and my past habits influenced what is currently happening in my body.
In addressing diabetes, I found a note and have taken on the following as my motto:
It is I who in reality make the important choices that affect my health and well being, and indeed it is I who is in control and experiences the consequences (both positive and negative) of my choices.
You can let things happen to you or you can make things happen. It is your choice.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Carbohydrates
You cannot change what you do not understand. I had been told before to “cut back on carbs”, but I did not truly comprehend what that meant. It was just a phrase to me, totally undefined.
But now I am beginning to understand about carbs, Reading labels is a new pastime for me. Trying to keep it simple, so I can implement changes.
1 portion = 15 gramsWhat a package may say on the label is one serving has 36 grams of total carbohydrates. That means that one serving is 2.3 portions.
3-4 portions = 45 - 60 grams /meal
9-12 portions = 135 – 180 grams / day
Simple math. I did not have those tools before. Information was buried in a sea of words. I prefer clear and concise.
What I did not realize is the amount of carbs that I had been ingesting. Can we say carb addict? Okay maybe, maybe not, but changes in my lifestyle are happening. It will be interesting to see the effects of the changes.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Promises Kept
Offering to do something, you should deliver. I did, but it was not in a timely fashion. Some of it had to do with the lack of opportunity.
Sometimes you have to make the opportunity. While I tend to honor promises to others, it is more challenging for me to honor promises to myself. “Mommy Martyr”? Yes, I am more giving to others, forgetting my needs, and should be better at honoring commitments to myself. Now that I am a diabetic and the children are grown, putting me first is a priority. Those changes are proving difficult for my family to take, which makes it even harder for me to implement changes I need to make.
Going down a new road is fraught with trepidation. It is not the comfortable norm. It is so easy to slip back into what is familiar. But if you do not take care it will be like the red sandstone, overtime it erodes. For my sake,now I cannot let things erode. I must take care.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Autumn Treasures
Days growing shorter.
Brillant colors are displayed.
Fields are done for the season.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Milk
I was surprised by a milk truck that pulled up to the UCONN barn. On the side of the truck was the “Vermont” Cabot logo. So the “Vermont” Cabot dairy products are made with some Connecticut milk. Yes, the cheese and butter are actually made in Vermont.
The Holsteins graze in pastures on the scenic gently rolling hills, that were worn down by the glaciers. The dormitories get a special aromatic treat in the Spring, when the fields thaw. Ah, the perks of going to a rural University.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Cornucopia Fest
The Cornucopia Fest at UCONN’s College of Agriculture and Natural Resources offered a little of something for everyone.
Rural UCONN
The white dome to the right is Gampel Pavilion, where the Huskies play.
My main interest was checking out my soil and finding more out about creating low-maintenance sustainable landscapes. I did pick up some information and had the ph of my garden tested. The results are the ph is fine and the soil is nice and rich.
“How was your garden this year?”
“It’s been better. I still have one zucchini to harvest.”
As I continued on, I was asked if I wanted to pet a chicken.
“No, thank you.”
It was time to checkout the other things like the Floriculture Greenhouse Gardens and the livestock on Campus.
Beautiful Autumn day
Holstein
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Diabetes 101 cont.
Today was all about being prepared and feet. Some information I found is contradictory. But overall I have a good understanding of what is needed for when the normal daily routine is disrupted and foot care.
Four areas that things may go haywire are travel, illness, disasters and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Being prepared makes a difference. All that is left of this section is the Lab. Putting sugar packets in my purse and completing the emergency backpack. The backpack will include information (on both me and my middle son), a radio, flash light, sugar packets and much more.
It depends on the podiatrist whether or nor my Birkenstocks will stay or go. I hope they stay, since I really do not like wearing shoes. My day today will end with a bit of foot pampering.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Smart car
During my errands, I happened to come across this cute little car. I have not seen any advertisments about this adorable car, yet here it is.
Smart car
Where did it come from? DaimlerChrysler
How much does it cost? approx. $27,900
What does it get for mileage? 46.3 mpg city / 70.6 mpg highway
Thank heavens for the internet to answer my burning questions. Too bad it costs so much.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Odds and Ends
Taking care of this, that and the other thing takes time, lots of time. These details must be addressed to make life go smoother. Sometimes it would be nice if someone else took care of the details because I am spent. More must be tended to tomorrow. Then it is back to my crash course.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Buy it now!
Now you see it. Later you won’t.
Imagine a company training a country to get into that mindset. Costco admitted, in the October issue of The Costco Connection, to doing that in Canada.
Now it should not be shocking that retailers train their customers. But it just seems that something is wrong with that. People are puppets, controlled consumers. While it is true that some merchandise will not be available in the future, promoting impulse buying seems to be the norm in retail.
If you can get the consumers to be reactionary, it increases the profits.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Nobody here but us chickens
Chickens hunt for what they need, much like us. However their needs are more simple than ours.
Ah, the simple life.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Visiting
My eldest is home for a short visit. Our relationship has changed since he first left for the North Country. He is ready to go out on his own.
It is bittersweet.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Green Mountains
Taking a drive, sometimes it pays to go out of your way to see something. I got a bit concerned when Route 65 was no longer a paved road, yet I continued. My son kept his thoughts to himself, but I could tell that he thought this was a folly. Soon we rounded a corner and we found what we were looking for.
We watched for a while as cars, trucks and motorcycles cross the bridge. It was a sight that I still have trouble comprehending. I was not brave enough to take the car across. Call me chicken, but it was my husband’s car and in some spots the water was about five inches deep and it was slippery. The motorcycles had to be careful when crossing.
A brave soul
Seeing this helped my son open up. We started talking more and connecting.
