Bespeak

It's been a while...

2010-01-25T12:38:00.001-05:00

...I guess. Lots of reasons why I haven't been posting here. Perhaps that will change.

Spooky

2008-10-31T10:11:00.002-04:00

It seems that most of my stuff on my hard drive has been rendered in accessible at this point. Also, I am unable to log into my account that was holding my pictures.

WTF

2008-01-19T09:21:00.000-05:00

Needless to say I have been quite busy with life so I haven't been posting. Not much has been going on to write about. Nor have I been taking pictures. I guess I've been in a slight funk.
On awaking this morning, I quickly became confused and frustrated. After a year and a half, I got my period. What's up with that? I thought that after a year, it was done for good! Thankfully there has not been any unprotected sex so there is no chance of being pregnant. The thought of having a newborn at this time in my life is quite scary. I have finally been able to shift more of my focus to myself. The thought of tending tp the needs of a newborn is not where I want to be. Nineteen years between children? I think not!
I thought I blew through the chocolate I had because I was stressed. Right! Well I'm stressed NOW. Things could be worse, I could have been pregnant. So I will count my blessings and accept things as they are.

Once very nice thing did happen. My hubby said that maybe this happened because I have been taking care of myself and I am reversing the aging process. How sweet is that!

Good, Bad

2007-10-21T14:05:00.000-04:00

The lyrics of Harry Nilsson's Son of Schmilsson “Joy” captures my current feelings.

Well, things went good, things went bad
Things went good and things went bad
Good, bad, good, bad, good, bad

It is so frustrating that things are so complicated. Today in order to survive you have to be a financial expert, chemist; among other things. With the U.S. being so market driven, you are almost forced to play the game. You must be a smart consumer.

Or you could follow the philosophy of the “The Lottery Song”:

If life is just gamble,
Gamble if you want to win.

Unfortunately, I do not like risk, especially when it comes to my health or my family.
The Point "Life Line"

Hello
Is there anybody else here?
It's cold and I'm so lonely,
Hello!
Is there anybody else here?
Hello (Hello, Hello, Hello)
Won't you throw me down a Life Line?
I'm so afraid of darkness,
And down here it's just like night time.

Diabetes? BEWARE!!!

2007-10-20T10:35:00.000-04:00

Caveat Emptor - Latin for 'let the buyer beware'. It implies that the buyer bears the risk and is responsible for assessing the quality of a item before purchase.

It is faulty to assume something is good for us just because it is listed as sugar-free or listed as diet. But what is making it sweet or should it be sweetened? Case in point... Read the label and know your ingredients. Sometimes I feel that I have to be a chemist to determine what is good or bad for me. But when you foray into the grocery store or into the field of supplements and vitamins, you must determine what is good and what is bad. All I can say is thank heavens for the internet to help me find answers and products.

In the last year I have found that some items, generally marketed for improving the health of to individuals with diabetes, include ingredients that would be detrimental to individuals with diabetes. Let it be known, that you can locate products without the harmful ingredients, but it does take some diligence.

My most recent experience is with the ingredient SORBITOL. A substance produced by the body in people with diabetes that can cause damage to the eyes and nerves. Having diabetes. I do not want to have sorbitol listed as an added ingredient in products that I buy.

With today's information changing so rapidly, it is best to find several sources to verify the content and use your own judgement as a guide.
Some helpful resources have been:

Bad News, Good News

2007-10-11T16:54:00.000-04:00

Today I went for massage therapy, the bad news is that my feet were ticklish. The good news is that my feet were ticklish. It means that more sensitivity has returned to my feet. Yippee!!!

2007-10-07T22:44:00.000-04:00

Back home again, but before we left we stopped at the Carousel Center. It is a huge mall. Not that I like going to malls. but I do like spending time with my sons.

Overall the trip went well. I did not get to see some of the things that I would have liked to. Perhaps next time.

Out and About

2007-10-06T23:21:00.000-04:00

Today's excursions included a trip to Green Lakes State Park. It was hot, hazy and humid for October, as I tended to lag behind my three sons during the walk around Green Lake. My lagging permitted me to see a good size fish and a snake slithering by. My camera's lag prevented my getting photos of them. however the camera was able to capture the beautiful blue of Green Lake shown below..

Soothing my burning feet in the cool water at the beach area, my boys ventured off to the playground. My youngest is on the horse.

It was good to see my eldest and that he has settled in to make a nice life for himself. Now I will not worry so much about him.

Off to Syracuse

2007-10-05T13:15:00.000-04:00

All is well and we depart at 3p.m. It is a long drive, approximately 4.5 hours, but I will finally get to see where my eldest calls home now. His brothers are coming with me. His Dad is staying home because he does not get any paid time off.

Memories

2007-10-03T16:10:00.000-04:00

Imagine my surprise when I found this red tractor at a supermarket. Not only the fact that it was at a supermarket, but that I had learned to drive on a tractor just like this one.

Trip Postponed

2007-09-28T21:56:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately my eldest's sweetheart needed to have her appendix removed so we did not got to Syracuse.

She looks good post-op, the drugs yet to wear off.

Welcome Autumn

2007-09-24T08:52:00.000-04:00

Today is the first full day of Autumn. Many trees are showing their colors early due to the lack of rain in the past month.

Cosmos and Hot Tub

2007-09-23T20:44:00.000-04:00

It is great to get together with an old friend, even if you have to pay a price the next day.

Deb and I have been friends since high school. she pulled out our yearbook and talked about changes. My yearbook picture was scary because my curls fell by time the picture was taken so my hair looks a bit frizzy. I should have just kept my fine hair straight. Even with the frightful reminiscing, it was still good to get away. The cosmos took the edge off and the hot tub soothed the body.

New Car

2007-09-22T09:46:00.000-04:00

My eldest came home last night so we could return his old plates. He let me drive his new car to the Motor Vehicle Department. Surprise, it took less than ten minutes. Below are the old and new.

It is great that he is doing so well.

Doctor, Doctor

2007-09-17T21:30:00.000-04:00

After much thought this past weekend I decided to call my Doctor to have him change my diabetic medication. I reread the side effects and dizziness can be due to the Avandaryl. So I'm getting of Avandaryl and going onto Avandamet. While that is okay I still have some concerns. Avandia is the medication that has been in the news recently as increasing heart problems. This new prescription still contains Avandia and I have to take it twice a day instead on just once.
I wonder how my compliance will be with that.

Good News, Bad News

2007-09-14T21:13:00.000-04:00

If the BAD news, after working out like a banshee, the scale has not moved and My doctor does not want to decrease my blood pressure medication. My HLD and LDL still need improvement.

Now the GOOD news, my A1C is 5.2!!! I was expecting good results because I have been testing frequently and my blood glucose results have been good. Sometimes they have even been a bit too low, except for the morning. But even the morning number that Ihave been getting most diabetics would love to have them.

I'm kind of down hearted that my blood pressure medication is not being changed because I have been increasingly been getting dizzy.

I have a life.

2007-09-05T07:34:00.000-04:00

It may not include daily contributions to this blog, but my life has been full lately. Dealing with parties, getting the kids back to school and refocusing on my health. With everything else in place and only beans to make for the party this weekend,(thankfully I am not hosting.)

There always seems to be something that helps me fly though life.

short post

2007-09-04T21:10:00.000-04:00

Pilates kills.

Scrapblog

2007-09-01T07:58:00.000-04:00

There is a place where you can make an online scrapbook. So much easier that having to get all the supplies. Perhaps I can print out my efforts.

I'm having a few technical difficulties making the scrapblog of my sister's 50th birthday party. Hopefully that will be straightened out. I would like to be able to present this to my sister for Christmas, so there is plenty of time.

Back to School Week

2007-08-28T21:02:00.000-04:00

My baby had orientation today. It's strange that he is in college now. Classes start tomorrow and he is commuting. My middle son goes back the day after that.

My precious first born is on his first vacation at the Cape. Time is passing, things are changing. No empty next yet. I have been blessed with good kids. I'm looking forward to a long peaceful weekend.

PARTY

2007-08-25T20:52:00.000-04:00

The Party went well. Pics will be posted soon. She was surprised. Life is good.

Brithday Girl

2007-08-24T23:09:00.000-04:00

It's her 50th birthday!

We spent the day at the beach and I didn't spill the beans about tomorrow's surprise party. The day was beautiful and relaxing.

The seas were a bit rougher than usual due to an offshore storm. Surfers flocked to the lighthouse to catch the waves.

Party Prep

2007-08-23T07:53:00.000-04:00

Getting ready for the party meant going though some old pictures. This one was a favorite of mine.

Saddle shoes, my dolly muff; things were so simple then.

Exercise

2007-08-15T20:57:00.000-04:00

Commitment has been made. The fitness center at the local community college has group classes for a price that I can afford. I really like the instructor of the pilates and yoga class. The treadmill is the first piece of equipment that I tried, not really to my liking, but doable.

Definition or Spin?

2007-07-25T09:25:00.000-04:00

Hearing the statement "diabetes is your job" really stuck in my craw. It keeps playing over and over in my mind.
Is this my job? No, this is my life. Big difference. You can quit a job. I guess you could quit living too, but that is an option that I will not consider.

Saving Money

2007-07-20T22:35:00.000-04:00

I do enjoy the thrill of the hunt. Planned purchases are best. But sometimes you can find something that strikes your eye and happens to be a great buy.
No such luck for me today's sale. However my husband did acquire a good find with a pair of shoes. My youngest got two pairs of shorts. I do love a sale, however that does not mean that I must purchase something.

Another way I found to save some money is to renew library books online. It is nice not to run down to the library, when the trip would be out of the way of my planned excursions. Type, point, and click. It saves on gas and overdue fees.

Toto

2007-07-19T20:00:00.000-04:00

It was weird that we had tornado warnings here in Connecticut today. Some funnels were spotted and that portion of the storm headed my way. I remember the F4 tornado in October of 1979 that hit Poquonock and Windsor Locks. It was devastating. One day I should scan in pictures that I took.

I was working in downtown Hartford, when I decided to take a break and go get a drink. I glanced at the bank clock, looked up at the sky and got a chill that shook me. The sky was a strange greenish brown color. The clouds were moving fast. I brushed of that chill and went back to work. When I got out of work, I heard about the tornado. My first concern was for my family. I tried calling but the lines were down. So I drove and found the street was blocked, luckly the police let me through to check on my family. Thankfully my brother had just been dropped off by the school bus, the wind speed had picked up and some branches were falling but he made it to the house. My grandmother only had a branch break one window in her home.

Some of my friends family homes were destroyed. The cemetary and Bradley Airport had a great deal of damage. Poquonock Avenue looked naked without the huge old trees that once lined it. My elementary school damaged and the cafeteria was in ruin. I did notice that the cafeteria clock was still on the wall, time stopped when I felt that chill.

Watching the sky, I waited for my boys to come home, hoping that I would not witness such damage again. I did not get that chill today, the storm has passed. For us all is well.

Mind Your Money

2007-07-18T10:08:00.000-04:00

It looks like everything is fine. Now to wait for snail mail with official verification. The account is now longer listed online. It would have been nice to see a zero balance listed. But being gone works too, (at least I hope it does.) So now the game is to stalk the mail carrier.

WTF

2007-07-17T21:27:00.000-04:00

Now that isn't language that I normally use, however things are messed up at my bank. A final payment should have been taken out of my account and it was not. What now I would have to deal with late fees too? A trip to the bank is in order. Dealing with a human in person in this case is better than a phone call. Supposedly things are taken care of, we will see. I'll check it out online to make sure the transaction was completed.

Ten years ago....

2007-07-16T13:09:00.000-04:00

... it was a beautiful summer day, just like it is today. The boys and their friends were playing in the pool. We needed to get ready to go to my brothers birthday party. I had just asked the kids to get out of the pool when the telephone rang.

It was not a call I would have expected. A call that would change my life forever. I was told to go to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital, I was told that my mother was gone. Disbelief was my first reaction.

Driving back home, thoughts of how to tell the boys raced through my brain. Needing time to collect my thoughts and have a good cry, I stopped, purchased a pack of cigarettes and found a quiet place. I had been smoke for more than three days, but now I needed a cigarette.

The next few days were a bit of a blur. You do not expect to have your mother die at the age of 63. I thought she was too stubborn to leave us so soon. There is never a good time for someone's life to end. But they remain alive in us and our memories.

Ten years later, my brother no longer celebrates his birthday, my sister still grieves the loss and I am still smoking. This day I choose to celebrate my mother's life by remembering the time we drive to Vermont just to get an ice cream cone, feeding the ducks at Forest Park,and camping in a tent at the beach. These are just a few of the memories I cherish.

Hawaiian Dreams

2007-07-15T21:35:00.000-04:00

A friend went to Hawaii last November. She shared some brochures that she had brought back with her. Taking a virtual vacation, is not the same as being there and smelling the salt air and feeling the sand beneath your feet.

Some day I will get to go to a tropical island.

Summertime

2007-07-14T09:14:00.000-04:00

It is Saturday. It is summer. A great day for getting things done. But my brain is in a fog, hopefully that will lift and I will get something accomplished today. I should have made plans, but didn't.
The reason I feel obligated to get something done is because my back is feeling better. The reason for my inaction is there are so many things that have been undone, that I do not know where to start. Pick something!!!! Hum, maybe lounging at the pool, reading or doing a bit of yard work.

Friday the 13th

2007-07-13T21:57:00.000-04:00

Some say it is unlucky. It was a good day. One son went to the beach to enjoy the beautiful weather, another got guard of the week, and I got a new mouse. No more double or triple clicks or at times even no clicks. The frustration and stress is now gone.

Over time there are expectations. Items we have become accustomed to and now cannot live without,( sure we would not wither and die, but life would be different.) Years ago, very few had cell phones, now it seems that just about everyone has this attachment. Some do not have land lines. Where will we be in twenty years, would will be the one thing that we cannot live without?

things

2007-07-12T10:43:00.000-04:00

I mentioned that some things were a bit out of whack. What I need to refocus on is...

My food
Taking pictures
Checking my blood glucose
My house

What has been going right is I have continued to exercise. I am getting some reading done. Party plans for my sister's 50th are coming along.

Issues

2007-07-11T10:24:00.000-04:00

I have so many issues. Finally I was able to post a picture, but the program still is not working properly. My mouse is being finicky, some times it works sometimes it doesn't.
My back is getting much better, but I still have to limit my activities. My garden's bounty is weeds right now, because I have not been able to tend to it. We have gotten some herbs and a couple of cherry tomatoes out of it.

Irises are a symbol of mental health. These were mine, at the end of May.

Enough whining. Things really are not that bad, but they are a bit off kilter. Perhaps I need to get back to blogging to help get me back on track.

celebrations

2007-06-24T15:10:00.000-04:00

The grad party is over. Thankfully my sister was here, because the party would not have happened without her. Why? Well, the day before the party, I was placing some items in my trunk and my back went into spasm. Most of what needed to be done for the party was already done, so I decided not to cancel the party.

It was a beautiful day, and the drugs my doctor prescribed were working. The party went well. It was like revisiting my high school graduation when my son got thrown into the pool. At least he was at home and could change,I was not.

Next Saturday is my husband's birthday, the 4th is my eldest's. Now to plan for the next big event.... my sister's surprise 50th in August. I guess for now I'm a party girl. It's nice to have a lot to celebrate.

Done

2007-06-20T07:48:00.000-04:00

Time flies by and before you know your little baby has grown into a man.

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He ended his high school with honors and a scholarship, making his parents very proud of his accomplishments. Now it's time to celebrate.

What do you eat?

2007-06-05T07:35:00.000-04:00

Interesting photo essay shows what a family eats in a week. Would you want to display what you eat in a week? What would be in my picture? For me the thought is revealing. Actually now there would not be too much junk food, since I am trying to have a more healthy lifestyle.

How much is spent on groceries in a week? The average cost is somewhere around $150. Prices have gone up recently and will continue to rise.

What are favorite foods? For me, english cukes, plain yogurt, strawberries, nuts and chocolate.

What are your answers?

My Baby is 18

2007-06-04T19:32:00.000-04:00

Heavens, my children are technically all adults now. It makes me feel old and yet free in some respects.

I needed a break.

2007-05-25T21:12:00.000-04:00

It has been awhile since I posted. Perhaps due to my rebellion against structure, apathy or just that things are a bit hectic here. Also due to frustration about getting my pictures to up load. Hopefully I will return soon, things should calm down in July.

April Fool

2007-04-01T20:41:00.000-04:00

A small commotion outside my window drew my attention. A turkey was treading speedily. The turkey is more than twice the size of the blue eyed siamese fluff ball that was in hot pursuit. The fearless kitty seemed intent on getting a gift for it's humans. Unfortunately I had distracted the cat and the big birdie got away. None the less I was amused and admired the cat's foolish determination.

Matter of Taste

2007-03-30T23:32:00.000-04:00

With so much going on in our lives lately, our Mother's from Hell group opted for a some tasty treats. It started off with strawberries, which turned into shortcake. Then some chocolate with liquor was included. This was topped off with a bit of wine. It was a soothing evening and it refreshed our souls.

Coverage

2007-03-29T22:58:00.000-04:00

Healthcare coverage has been and will be a hot issue in the upcoming elections. I'm not too sure what the following ad that aired recently is all about, but it seems to be a fresh and accurate portrayal of health care in Connecticut.

Bravo to the creativity of the individual(s) that came up with this ad.

Wired

2007-03-28T21:00:00.000-04:00

Early morning, getting wired for an EEG.

Results will be available in about a week. However after a night short on sleep, I'm overtired.

Two Books

2007-03-27T13:36:00.000-04:00

Everyone has their preferences. For a starting point the following two books have had a lot of helpful information.

The Good Carb Cookbook : Secrets of Eating Low on the Glycemic Index - Woodruff, Sandra L.
Beating Diabetes: The First Complete Program Clinically Proven to Dramatically Improve Your Glucose Tolerance -Nathan, David M.

Being armed with useful information makes it easier to keep your glucose from spiking.

40 THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD

2007-03-26T23:31:00.000-04:00

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different

Books

2007-03-25T23:24:00.000-04:00

Coming soon a few books that I have found helpful.

Opportunities

2007-03-24T10:33:00.000-04:00

Missed opportunities often do not present us with a second chance. Sometimes you can have a second chance, like with knitting. You can rip out the messed up rows and do it over.

Usually, in life, it is a one shot deal. There are no redo's or do-overs. Each moment is a unique opportunity we move forward from there by our choice. Even not making a choice is a choice that we end up living with.

On a recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, a man with diabetes came into the clinic with a sore on his foot. The infection had gone into the bone and his foot would need to be amputated. Shocked by news, the man asked if there was anything that he could do to avoid amputation. There was a month ago, but that window had long past.

There are no excuses. Being too busy, not paying attention or ignoring will result in paying a price. Make your choice and take action.

Changes

2007-03-23T19:54:00.000-04:00

The robins are back.
Snow is melting.
Mud season is here.

It appears that things are the same but they are not. If you look closely, there are subtle changes.

Spring?

2007-03-22T21:38:00.000-04:00

It's supposed to be a time for rebirth, renewal.
Two more endings came today.

After fourteen years our Hidey is gone. She was loved dearly by the boys.

My friend's father, my son's friend's grandfather after 92 years has died.

It is a teachable moment. Time to remember that life is too short to live with regrets. Loved ones live on in our heart.

Spring Forward

2007-03-21T08:47:00.000-04:00

Clocks have already sprung ahead.
Dreary winter days are replaced with more hours of brighter sunshine.
Promises of a brighter future and no more stuffy heads.

Winter Ends

2007-03-20T23:16:00.000-04:00

Seasons come to an end. The Swim Team banquet takes the time to honor all the swimmers. A comments was made that the Polish food was missing, the night is not about the food, though the swimmer's would beg to differ with me.

Looking back, you see how far the seniors have come and how much has changed. No longer small skinny freshman. Each swimmer has made their mark on the team.

This is the only team that I know of that does this separately from Sports Night which is held at the school. Sports Night is nice, but the Swim Team banquet encourages the sense of team, drawing in the family.

Time moves forward. The senior swimmers are ready to move on.

Mental capacity

2007-03-19T23:50:00.000-04:00

Oft I wonder if people are capable of taking care of oneself. Things have gotten so complicated, that you almost need training in order to get the desired results. While I thought I was eating healthy before, no fried foods, stayed away from those fast food joints, apparently it was still not healthy. So how did I get it wrong????

Recovering

2007-03-18T08:09:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since my brain was clear enough to post, go to the market, or do anything that required more than the brain power of a gnat.

When ill, you do not give a crap about bills being due, or other responsibilities. Sleep, if you can get it, is the priority. Now that I have been able to almost sleep through the entire night, my body is more rested. No more twenty minute naps, all night long. Feeling like you have a hairball stuck in your throat, the constant coughing pulls on the muscles. The hairball still stuck. Saltines, toast, ginger ale or coke helped with settling the stomach.

Perhaps I can peruse the Sunday paper. So bear with me as I slowly regain my faculties.

Plans?

2007-03-10T12:55:00.000-05:00

We make plans, but sometimes they are interrupted. Just like last night. Since the boys stayed home from school, their activities for the evening were cancelled. So I planned on going to the pool. My plans changed again after dinner as the entire evening was spent in the Emergency Room.

Your child having a seizure will do that to you. Going by ambulance, spending hours waiting to be seen, then going home just before midnight takes a toll. Sleep deprived and now contracting the virus that infected my sons, all I want is a pillow and to pull the blanket up over my head. I am glad that last night's adventure is over.

Next week, a MRI and EEG will be scheduled. Hopefully this was an illness based seizure, not a begining of something new to contend with.

Hello... Girl

2007-03-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

There are things that we all do that are beyond the scope of our job. Sometimes exceptions are made.
Scenario:
An eighteen year old male (developmentally delayed with limited speech) sheepishly grins and says to his mother, "Hello... Girl" implying that he wants to call a girl. It is obvious that he is not physically delayed. My dilemma is it is technically not a mother's job to arrange a phone calls to girl for her son. What to do? He does not have a "girlfriend", but we know that he likes girls. He is insistent, he wants to talk to a girl. My brain races with many thoughts:
Do I do this?
Who could he call?
Should I ?
What happened to calling one of his guy friends?

He is just like any teenage guy. I would not do this from my other sons, but why should he be deprived of the pleasure of talking to a girl?

Hanging out with the girls.

So I succumb to the pressure. I did have to call the mother of a young lady friend of his. She sees him just as a friend, thankfully. He hangs up the telephone and smiles, with the expression "I just talked to a girl." There is nothing that can prepare a parent for a child's desire to expand their relationships.

A few days later he comes home from school with a ring for a "Girl".

Still Cold

2007-03-08T07:48:00.000-05:00

Visions of mud season as the forecast is predicting that temperatures will soar to up near 50 this weekend and possibly near 60 sometime next week. All is frozen h2O will melt flooding pathways, producing the soggy, squishy, sticky ground beneath your feet.

Mud season is my least favorite season. Hopefully it will pass soon.

Frozen Solid

2007-03-07T07:54:00.000-05:00

Near record cold and sub-zero wind chills remind me of when I brought my eldest back to school. It seemed fitting that we saw an ice castle at Saranac Lake.

To which I jested that it was his dorm.

Prohibited swimming on Saranac Lake.

On my trip back home temperatures were sub-zero. But the beautifully light castle drew me in. I could only stay out for a minute, to grab this shot. (photo tip - Do not breathe when taking sub-zero temperatures or you will create spooky halloween type pictures with your frosty breath included in the shot.)

Stay warm.

Features

2007-03-06T23:16:00.000-05:00

Having my camera for over 5 years now, it was about time to learn some more of the features on it. Okay, I know that I should have learned this before now. I could use many excuses as to why I had not., but I will not.

You may have noticed that I have been including more close ups lately, some good some bad. My interest is in macro. I enjoy the detail. I do not do much edit of my photos, just get rid of red eye or to crop. Cropping helps me present what has attracted my eye to the subject in the first place.

Another thing is I finally learned how to turn off the flash. It would be aggravating when the flash would go off when it did not need to. Thank heavens for some manual controls.

How much?

2007-03-05T09:03:00.000-05:00

Portion size for meals is under control, though there are still a few quirks that need to be addressed. Like my need to nibble instead of snack. A snack is planned and portion controlled. Nibbling has no boundaries. It is the mindless eating that I am talking about. I am sure it is a habit, but getting rid of the obsession to consume when nervous, frustrated, or anxious is annoying. Why does this habit rear its ugly head and drive me to consume. I do not know. But it must change. All suggestions on how to address this are welcome.

Stores sell prepackaged portions, I certainly can do my own at home. Hopefully after doing this for a while, I'll have a better idea about appropriate portion size and be able to curb the excessive nibbling.While I said that I did not have a scale to weigh myself, I do have a very nice kitchen scale that I found out about on Cooking For Engineers.

Visualizing how much is an ounce, a pound is difficult therefore a scale comes in handy especially when trying to determine what is a serving.

Payback is Sweet

2007-03-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

After giving and giving to the poor college student, now that he has received two paychecks he did pay me back for the money for getting his apartment. The money will be recycled as the youngest will soon be going to college.

Observation

2007-03-03T19:44:00.000-05:00

What he noticed? Men are not usually perceptive. This includes my eldest son. While it is dangerous territory for men to comment on females weight, stating “ you have lost some weight” is always a good thing to say. It only took forty pounds before he said something. I assumed that he would have noticed something before now.
But he finally did notice and the surprised look on his face about how much I have lost was priceless. He offered words of encouragement, then stated his plans for fitness.

While I do not have a scale, changing my lifestyle is more important than the numbers. I do not want to obsess about how much I have or have not lost. The priority is eating habits. Weight loss is just a bonus. Checking my weight about once a month is nice because I do not worry about the daily fluctuations. You have a general idea as to what is what. It is more like reconciling your checkbook with your bank statement.

Choices

2007-03-02T23:38:00.000-05:00

It is Movie Night for the Teen and Adult Social. With eighteen choices, the movie had preselected by the group so the meeting time can be set. I had two options. See the movie with the group or check out the new bar in the theater with the Mothers from Hell to wine and whine. (We brainstorm solutions more than whine.)

What would you do?

The movie will come out on dvd soon, so I'll have an opportunity to see it later if I choose. But the opportunity to get together is more limited and having a conversation with friends is priceless.

Attitude is Everything

2007-03-01T07:07:00.000-05:00

Creating your own reality is a current buzz. With Secret being promoted on Larry King and Oprah recently, it made me think about sheep. Yes, I said sheep. I am talking about the masses that are at a loss and hope that something can fix their life. I have not read the book or seen the movie, so I do not know the message that is being sent to the masses. But folks are quick to jump on the band wagon.

In my experience there seems to be some truth to what they is being said. It is a matter of belief. And what you do put out there affects what you will recieve. For example: if you act like a victim, then some people will pity you. They will not approach you with the intention of bringing you onboard for a project, since you have so much on your plate. It is like the old saying if you want something done ask a busy person. The same people on the PTO get asked to work to take on new things all the time.

While I am not an expert in human nature, the afore-mentioned observations have inspired me to not to get into victim mode and how to say "no." You are the director in your life.

Seeing the Light

2007-02-28T11:04:00.000-05:00

Working on lifestyle changes requires a commitment. Viewed not as deprivation, but as a method of living for the rest of your life. Changing what has been the norm, can be challenging. After a while, the changes do become a way of life.

Eating foods for a day, that I normally do not eat anymore, I found my self feeling deprived. No strawberries, blueberries, cucumbers, and no crisp crunchy veggies. My little luxuries were on the taboo list for two days. It feels great having my fresh treats back again.

My previous diet was not that bad, or so I thought. Dietetic choices are learned from the family. My only saving grace was that I cannot fry food, it is a talent I do not possess. Years of being on a Polish American diet was going to make me look like my Babci. However, I am not out working a farm like she was.

Understanding nutrition was something that did not penetrate my brain. Being told to cut back on carbs, does not do any good if you do not truly understand what carbs are. Taking a more academic and scientific approach is helping me. What is helping is finding what are good choices. Stating what to avoid is not helpful if you do not know what you should have. Finding substitutes helps me make the changes I need to make. Thankfully there are many options available, so more changes are on the way in my lifestyle.

Improving

2007-02-27T22:57:00.000-05:00

My funk can probably be attributed to the decrease in exercise last week. Missing the movement and interaction with others in the class did take a toll. Granted the medical procedure and holiday did keep me from going three nights, but I should have opted for exercise Friday night instead of a party.

After going to class last night, my mood elevated to what has come to be my norm. I need to find some form of exercise that I enjoy for when I need to workout when I cannot get into a pool.

Bad Attitude

2007-02-24T13:04:00.000-05:00

Let's just say I'm not in a happy place right now. I'll be back to posting when I am in a better frame of mind.

Suburbia sucks

2007-02-23T23:59:00.000-05:00

Just another person, living among the masses that are tucked away in their little homes just outside a city, dealing with the high cost of living in this state. Electricity has just gone up. Taxes are going up, but I hear there is a surplus in the state budget? Health care costs are rising. Employees a local chain is about to go on strike about it. I hope the union wins. The little guy has sucked it up for too long. If the corporations make a stink, maybe something will be done about it. Granted I don't have any suggestions at this point, but what is going on right now is not working for the average working stiff. Heaven help the retirees.

What good is health insurance if you cannot afford the co-pays or medicine because you have to pay the high premiums just to have the insurance.

Recovering

2007-02-22T18:04:00.000-05:00

I do not remember much. But what I do remember is that I hate IV's. They hurt like hell.

I vaguely remember being told to get dress and drink something. But I do not remember getting dressed. I did take a sip of something. I do not remember seeing the nurse after and do not remember how I got home. When my husband woke me up I was on my sofa. All I want to do is sleep. My appetite is zip, zilch, nic, nada. Saltines and toast are to my liking.

What surprised me is that I was released in the condition I was in.

Fasting isn't so bad

2007-02-21T18:02:00.000-05:00

Not eating was not as hard as I thought it would be. Staying away from prepping food and people eating helped. I could have all the clear liquids I wanted, including Jello. I had lemon-lime. Having the jello felt like I was at least eating something.

Feast before Fast

2007-02-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

Mardi Gras, Carnival, all celebrations getting ready for lent. Soon the pączki will be gone. Ash Wednesday I will be fasting, not because I am a good catholic. I will be fasting in preparation for a medical procedure on Thursday morning.

So eat, drink and be merry. for lean times come soon.

Another visit

2007-02-19T23:22:00.000-05:00

Great news yet again. I'm down another two pounds and I am off one medication. Changing my diet and exercising have been effective. Since things are working so well, I'm going to stick with what is working and continue to make more small positive changes.

Budgetary Contraints

2007-02-18T09:21:00.000-05:00

As previously posted, the dollar only goes so far. I thought we were finally getting our head above water. With upcoming expenses and just so much income, it appears that hard choices need to be made. I also need to get more creative so harder choices do not have to be made..

My day trip to NYC, cancelled. (I so needed this for my mental health.) I have not figured out what will replace it. I do need something to look forward to.
My hair cuts are already spaced a bit too long. But I'll talk to my hairdresser and ask for suggestions, but I may have to let my hair grow long. Ugh!
The clothing I have does not fit me. I need new clothing for Summer. Planning my wardrobe is key in order to stretch both the wardrobe and the money.
The cars need to be maintained. This is not cheap. But I do not think we are ready to go down to one car yet. My car is only has 87K and is probably good for another 10 years. The good news is that I can get new tires from the funds coming from Connecticut's Unclaimed Property Division.
The house needs some attention also. so things need to be replaced, like the vacuum cleaner, and minor repairs, updates need to be made.
Cutting medical costs. Not doable. But this seems to be the source of much of the drain on our budget. Insurance costs have gone up close to $300 per month in the last two years. What I could do with $300! Also I am now on various medications. Thankfully that's only about $100 per month. When totaled that makes increase in medical costs really is more like $400 per month.

Much needs to be done. Having a plan will reduce stress and hopefully not change our quality of life too much. Maintaining a positive outlook is difficult, but nessesary.

Let this be a word of caution to those looking toward retirement, your expenses will skyrocket beyond your imagination and there is not too much you can to about it. So plan with this in mind.

Busted

2007-02-17T21:46:00.000-05:00

There comes a time when there is no denying, that lightbulb moment when you realize the truth. Or should I say the lightbulb burnt out. Something is not right. That was today for me after seeing how much we owed in taxes. With the increases in health insurance, shrinking saving account and not many more ways to cut back, changes need to be made. As our children grow up we loss the deductions, and the general expenses keep increasing.

Generally I like to have takes done by Valentines Day. But my heart I knew that we would owe. So what is a few more days without knowing the exact figures. The good news is that I did the taxes myself and the expense of the accountant can go directly to the IRS.

Swim Season Ends

2007-02-16T23:12:00.000-05:00

The passing of time means some things end and new things begin. My youngest's time as a high school student is coming to an end. Soon he will be moving onto the next chapter in his life. Tonight was his last swim meet. No more pasta parties.

They won. Winning the meet is a nice way to end the season.

Cold Season

2007-02-15T21:42:00.000-05:00

Getting out of the pool, I make sure I am dry before going out into the freezing cold air. The night amplifies the sound of the squeaks and crunches of the snow, as I make my quick trip across it. I am dressed warmly and the cold does not have enough time to give me a chill.

There are things that are precious to us, or are little luxuries. Then there are the things that are the necessities. Helping me though this winter have been my wool socks. This is the first year that I have needed the extra warmth and comfort of wool. It was pleasing to find that today's wool socks are not the bulky ungly things that I remember from my younger days.

It is even nicer that the socks have a feminine touch. My guys will not be snagging my socks. It would be nice if I could knit my own socks, however I was not blessed with the talent or patience like my friend at Bald Sheep.

Flowers and Hearts

2007-02-14T13:28:00.000-05:00

Although the Northeast is being pounded by a nor'easter, Valentines Day still arrives. My gift to you is this picture of a beautiful rose.

Death of Innocence

2007-02-13T23:32:00.000-05:00

We all have to be vary of scams and the seedier side of life. Being naive and trusting makes us targets. It is sad when we have to be suspicious rather than trusting.

Granted there have always been there have always been those that take advantage of people's trust. Now trust is the key to an invitation to be attacked. Me, I tended to trust until that trust has been taken away by misdeeds. Perhaps that is a fault I have. Now trust has to be earned.It is a shame that instead of being open, we have to stand guard. Be wary of the evil that is lurking.

By taking steps to protect ourselves and loved ones it makes it more tedious and difficult to do things. Now we have things like passwords, HIPPA, and other various protective items. These can become roadblocks for the innocent and those that have a tendency to forget seldom used passwords.

Stopping the flow (iced over)

It is with great reluctance that I have enabled the password for making comments. The frequency of spammers posting has increased to the point where I am spending too much time deleting those comments.

Brain Clutter

2007-02-12T16:04:00.000-05:00

Being preoccupied prevents my brain from remembering things that I should be doing. So much to do, so much to manage, so much to worry about. Keeping a tight rein on the household finances and worrying about incomes taxes is at the forefront. One can only squeeze that buffalo so much.

Tools

2007-02-11T16:02:00.000-05:00

When something does not work it can be frustrating. Sometimes solutions can elude us. Finding what works makes life easier.

My dilema was I was preoccupied with tasks at hand and I would forget to test my blood sugar. This was happening frequently. I would remember too early and wait, then forget. By the time I remembered it was too late to test.

Since I only have 15 days to return my cell phone I decided to check it out some more. I remembered that my son uses his as his alarm clock. Perhaps my phone has an alarm? Sure enough, there is an alarm feature on the phone. So far it is working to remind me to test. I'll have to check out and see if it would wake me.

Accountability

2007-02-10T17:04:00.000-05:00

Why is it that if documented, I'm much better at maintaining my new lifestyle and less likely to stray? There is something about having to write down what you have eaten that keeps you from eating more or eating something that is not good for you. Also it helps that the meter is impartial, it displays just the facts.

The A1c does that too, but that test is done a few times a year and gives an average for the about the last three months.

Testing frequently with my meter helps me see how different food impacts my blood sugar. This way I can adjust what I eat and I will not get spikes.

Spontaneity

2007-02-09T23:05:00.000-05:00

Being spontaneous in nature, following a routine is challenging for me. Oh sure things like brushing teeth, laundry, etc., are to be done. But I like flying by the seat of my pants. Routines are boring, but dependable like my husband. Getting out of the routine for him is challenging. I like to think out of the box. He likes in the box. Sometimes it is grounding for me, other times I feel stifled. My spirit soars when out of the house, exposed to new things, ideas, experiences. I find growth. In the house I feel confined, merely existing.

The Dead Zone

2007-02-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

The service provider for our cell phone service offers a new phone every two years. They actually give you a dollar amount that is deducted from the cost of the phone.

Here is my new phone.

Learning where the features that I use are is a bit annoying as each phone is different. I have been on autopilot as far as using my old phone goes. Retraining myself is the pits.

It has tons of bells and whistles that were not on my old phone and I will never use them. For one month the company has given me extended service where I can pay more money to acquire things live video, games and music. That would be fine if I had tons of time on my hands, but I cannot see myself watching a video other than on a bigger screen. The music, well I might put the 1812 Overture on to drown out the rap music that someone is playing on their cell phone while in the store.

I just want a simple non-offense cell phone. The camera on the phone is a plus, for when my batteries in my Olympus die and I do not have spares. Contact list, voice dialing, silent vibrate and speaker phone are my needs. I do not need annoying songs to let me know that someone is calling me, a simple ring tone will suffice.

We live in the DEAD ZONE. Service sucks where we live even though we are surrounded by towers. We live right in the middle and I only get one bar, two if it is cloudy. Sometimes I have to go outside and walk down the street to get reception. I had hoped that this would have improved with a new phone, to my dismay it did not. So this extended service does not work at my home. We'll see if I get a chance to play with it before I cancel the extended service in three weeks.

Keeping Your Money

2007-02-07T23:23:00.000-05:00

It seems to be that most people think that being frugal is a negative. Why spend more money than you have to? With the internet you can find ways to save money on purchases. Read reviews to insure that your money is well spent. Why buy a lemon?

After years of good service my vacuum has bit the dust so to speak. As the dust bunnies pile up my desire to replace it is increasing in urgency. Between Consumer Reports and online user reviews I have narrowed down my future purchase of a vacuum cleaner and will not overspend to get it.

I have had this handbag since 2000.

Saving a few dollars here and there allows me to splurge on the little luxuries in my life. Sometimes you have to spend more upfront to save money in the long run. I spend a good chuck of change on a handbag that lasted me for years, a friend had to replace her $30 bag every three months because they fell apart. Over time, she ended up spending more than I on the handbags.

Claim Denied

2007-02-06T08:11:00.000-05:00

Insurance companies seem to be banking on people not knowing what should be covered. Their bottom dollar is improved when people just accept that the claim was denied. Sometimes all it takes is a simple phone call and you will hear something like this:

"All our claims are processed by the computer."
The computer is the scapegoat?
"That should have been covered. I will resubmit it for processing."

If I had not called it would have cost me about $300 just this year alone. It's only February. I can only imagine how much the insurance company has saved by people not calling. Sometimes it is not as simple as making a call. Vigilance and perseverance are required to get the claims approved.

the dedicated

2007-02-05T23:38:00.000-05:00

With the windchill, it was -2°. Overall attendance at free swim was down. For a few moments, I contemplated not going to class. MY husband said something and I decided to brave the cold. Besides I need the exercise. My body has become adjusted to working out at this time of night.

(Not bad for a cell phone picture)

The class was well attended even with the frigid temperatures. Cold condensation rained down into the pool from the glass roof. The pool water was not too cold if you keep moving, but if you slowed down to stretch it became more difficult to tolerate.

Brrrrrrrrr

2007-02-04T16:32:00.000-05:00

Sunny bright blue skies are courtesy of the polar jet stream. The light is much brighter because of the blanket of snow on the ground. While inside, the brightness of light makes us forget how cold it is outside and how much colder it is going to get. Ice on the walks is not melting.

Thank heavens most of my work this week does not require me to go out.

Snow Drought Ended

2007-02-03T17:11:00.000-05:00

Until last night the total snowfall for this winter was just over one inch. Last night blessed us with three inches of snowball material.

It has been a long time since we have....

driven is snow.
seen such beauty.
been blinded by the bright reflection of the sun off the snow.

Happy Groundhog Day - Go RED

2007-02-02T08:50:00.000-05:00

Did the groundhog see his shadow? Punxsutawney Phil did not, supposedly spring is right around the corner. Does it really matter? No.

Does heart health matter? Yes. Since I tend to champion causes, I will be wearing red today to support the fight against heart disease in women. Heart disease is the number one killer of women. Go to Know Your Numbers for your heart health.

Hypoglycemia a.k.a. Low Blood Sugar

2007-02-01T23:53:00.000-05:00

It is a scary thing for me. I do not like the feeling. Usually hypoglycemia can be avoided by eating at regular intervals and having snacks. Sometimes the person with diabetes does not recognize the symptoms, so family, friends and coworkers should be aware of the symptoms and remedies.

Here are some of the more common mild symptoms:

· Shaky
· Sweaty
· Chills, cold hands
· Pale skin color
· Anxious
· Fast heartbeat
· Dizzy
· Hungry
· Crabby
· Confused
· Clumsy
· Weak or tired
· Trouble sleeping
· Difficulty concentrating
· Headache

Here are some of the more moderate symptoms:

· Increase in mild symptoms
· Anxiety
· Confusion, unclear thinking
· Anger, Strange behavior
· Lack of balance
· Difficulty speaking
· Numb lips
· Blurred vision

Here are some of the severe symptoms:

· Stupor
· Passing out
· Seizures

If hypoglycemia happens and the symptoms are recognized, it can easily and quickly be addressed without serious consequences.

15 grams/15 minute rule

Take 15 grams of carbohydrates and wait fifteen minutes.

· 1/2 cup of any fruit juice
· 1/2 cup of a regular (not diet) soft drink
· 5 or 6 pieces of hard candy
· 1 or 2 teaspoons of sugar or honey
· Glucose gel or cake frosting in a tube

If there still are symptoms after 15 minutes, have another 15 grams and wait another 15 minutes.
After the symptoms have subsided and it is an hour or more before the next meal, have a snack.

Form Over Function?

2007-01-31T23:21:00.000-05:00

Which would you choose? Why can't we have both? Apparently Cell phone manufacturers have not figured out how to produce one? Perhaps they have and decided it is not profitable.

For me, it will have to be function. If a cell phone cannot perform well, what good is it to me when I need to use it. Sure it will be pretty to look at, but if I cannot make a call, pretty is not going to be of any use.

passing the torch

2007-01-30T23:21:00.000-05:00

There comes a time when you have to let children do things on their own. Ready or not. If you have lead by example then it should be pretty easy for them to take over. Time will tell.

It is difficult to step back. It is like being in the driver's seat, then moving into the passenger seat. It is an uneasy feeling. I do not feel like I have finished my journey and prepared him enough for taking over. But he must.

First Day of Work

2007-01-29T22:29:00.000-05:00

Early to rise. Getting dressed now takes thought.

Filling out forms. Figuring out benefits. Learning the rules of your new road. Being shown your desk. Ah, cubicle life.

No longer a just someone's child, a student or athlete. Now you have a new way of defining yourself with your chosen career.

Crafting a Letter

2007-01-28T23:50:00.000-05:00

The art of writing a letter seems to have gone by the wayside For some letter writing comes easy, pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and they are done. I have never considered myself a writer. I prefer the short, to the point e-mail. Composing a real letter takes time and effort.

Carefully selecting the appropriate words, is time well spent. Sometimes that is important in business correspondence as the letter can be used as legal document, where the meaning of words may be dissected and your selection of words can work for or against you. Referring to laws can help you with your selection of words. Choosing the right words can make a huge difference in the outcome of a situation.

The same can be said in personal correspondence. Your intent in the letter can be dramatically changed with one word or phrase. So rereading your letter is important. Often times in movies you would see the a writer sitting next to a pile of crumpled paper. Writers block some would say. Those writers knew what they wanted to convey, but getting the message onto paper sometimes is not an easy task.

Thankfully there are tools to assist in writing letter. Previous correspondence, dictionary,spell check, thesaurus, policies, laws and the internet are wonderful resources. I love the word draft. It is a beginning. Refine the letter until you are satisfied with the contents. Thank heavens for cut and paste it has saved many trees.

Free Time

2007-01-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

A scare commodity for me is downtime. However I found myself with a free afternoon and it was heaven. After weeks of non-stop activity the opportunity to relax was freeing. I could actually feel the tension leaving my body. It is something that I should do more often. Can free time be scheduled without pressure?

I dream of a warm sunny beach with gentle salt air breezes. The soothing rhythmic sound of the waves breaking. Sunshine reflecting off the waves. No clocks. No schedules. No responsibilities.

What do you dream of?

Cat Curiosity

2007-01-26T05:06:00.000-05:00

Each creature has it's own personality and behavior quirks. My son's cat was personable and sometimes lacked judgment. He would try to jump into the window when it was closed. Abu has taken over a room, it is her domain. She just lets my son use the bedroom. Hidey likes ice cubes in her water and cantaloupe.

Mitzi is our scaredy cat. She runs when ever someone comes to our door. Sometimes her curiosity gets the best of her and she has to check things out and strikes a meercat pose.

Empty nest beginning

2007-01-25T23:44:00.000-05:00

Officially he is now on his own in the adult world. He has his own apartment. This is still the house where he grew up, but it is not his home. All that is left is an empty spot where is car used to be.

Although I am happy that everything is going well for him, there is a small empty spot in my heart that misses him. The transition from college life to real life is not much different. Being so far away, I do not worry. Thank heavens for today's technology, it is much easier to stay in touch.

Routine Health Care

2007-01-24T15:48:00.000-05:00

Doing those routine things, can be a bit of a pain... annual exams, dental exams, eye exams. Then there are the associated tests. Most of it is preventative care or providing a baseline to work from.

Today's visit to the Women's Center for Wellness was for a mammogram. The atmosphere was different. What surprised me is that it was digital. I didn't realize that things had advanced. The machine has an automatic release when the image has been acquired. The images are immediately provided to the technition, so the wait time is less to make sure the images are fine. Including the wait in the reception room, it only took 30 minutes before I was out the door..

Blinding

2007-01-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

It was a beautiful bright winter day, you know the kind where you need sunglasses. The bright light reflected off the snow and wet roads can almost be blinding. IKEA did not happen. He said something about style conflicts. IKEA has a certain kind of style, so I am not too sure how I would exercise any influence.

We finished up the clothing shopping. He does have good taste and knows how to shop. I was impressed with his skills.

Catching up

2007-01-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

Spending time with my eldest, getting him ready for work, we went out shopping. Just what every twenty-two year old male want to do, shop with mom. The great news is that most of the things he needs is on sale. Tomorrow will be more of the same. Maybe we will even hit IKEA.

Finally I have added in the missing posts from December. There were only a few posts with pictures truly worthy of posting.

On the Road
Graduation
Ride home

The rest of the posts are more like a diary. Boring. They are there.